Snowshoeing: My "Good Girl" Revolt
The voices of guilt: ‘Want’ vs ‘Should’
I'm sure I'm not alone in battling the internal committee that tries to veto my every desire for solo time. When I decided to spend my vacation day snowshoeing by myself, the arguments began: 'Stay home and cater to your partner.' 'Save the day for a family outing.' 'Don't abandon your kids; that's selfish.'
Guilt-ridden, I extended an invitation to my family, secretly hoping they'd decline. Then, I obsessively checked the weather, searching for reasons to stay put. After a mental tug-of-war, I finally headed to the mountains.
Why is it such a struggle for so many of us, especially women, to prioritize our own needs?
‘Good girls’ and patriarchal messages - unpacked
My drive was sound-tracked by Dr. Becky's 'Good Inside' podcast, specifically the episode 'Calling all "Good Girls." Her key question: 'Am I allowed to want things for myself?' resonated deeply. The podcast unpacked the insidious message behind the 'good girl' label: we're only 'good' when we suppress our desires, serve others, and ignore our own needs.
This echoed the powerful message of Elizabeth Lesser's 'Cassandra Speaks' (one of the books that have influenced me the most). Lesser explores how patriarchal origin stories have shaped our society, reinforcing the idea that women should be quiet, nice, and compliant. These narratives, predominantly told by men, have metastasised into our DNA, silencing our intuition and programming us to prioritize others.
Connect - Embrace - Shine
There I was, knee-deep in a snowy wonderland, enjoying my own company. The joy was multifaceted: reconnecting with my desires, breaking free from ingrained patterns, enjoying the beauty of nature, and nourishing my body. I returned home refreshed, a better partner and mother, a better me.
Next time you hear those voices telling you 'no,' remember their origin: a system designed to keep you small and under control.
Connect with your intuition, embrace your dreams, and feel the joy when you prioritize what you ‘want’ vs what you think you ‘should’.
